the cost of free time

The meeting was arranged, but didn’t happen. Thus today was expanded into four additional hours. That should be fine because we all are used to dream about the free time, therefore strange as it may appear but sense of fulfillment didn’t filled me. The reality was the confusion worse confounding.  In a fog I unexpectedly  recognized myself wandering around a bookstore were lots-the  billions of tall stories were gazing at me from the bookshelves.  There were the  treasure chests, the magical lamps  and all animals were able to talk in these books.  Even the stones  on  fairy roads were wiser many politics of our today.

Wow! I had no idea on what for I entered the bookstore. I hadn’t a penny in my pocket and thus could buy  nothing at all. BUT my adventures weren’t in vain.  The wonderland was discovered and it happened  for a free literally. It may look strange, but knowledge cost nothing at a moment you leave the bookstore.

Freedom is waiting by my side

Though I am beyond hope but still delay to accept the hand of the eternities. The wish for sing of the beauty around me stirs my pulses till now.  Unfortunately, I am short of funds and thus can’t to purchase the needed equipment, the obligatory tools to start.  All I can is  just to dream and to plead you for the  support.

I desperately need the professional digital camera. The bright zoom lens of Canon would make my dream to chatter with the eternities the reality.  Just $4000 USA could change everything around.  Please help me, rescue the disabled from his forced doing nothing because of totally empty pocket.

you see  the portrait of my soul at a moment below.

Fate

It was so … I forgot what I was to write about. Yet, that’s no wonder. It is enough to remind my diagnosis and everything will be clear. Just think, my about page looks nice, isn’t it? But does it reveal the truth? Yes, my head bones were broken and I had walked on the edge of the death for a long. That was so indeed , but does the above say though some to you now? My current weakness, constant headaches and diabetes – the huge bouquet of various disease don’t effect anybody – sad truth looks like the nitty-grity that HIDES THE ESSENCE – my concrete diagnosis sounds not the psychiatric disorders, but the SCHIZOPHRENIA .  The last changes everything, isn’t it?  Thus I wouldn’t be surprised to get zero clicks tomorrow.  When we deal with the sick, we try to help them, but if we meet the schizophrenic , all of us hurry to run away.  It is possible to muse either the modern practice is right, or not, but does that mean though any?  Yes, my eyes are wet at a moment.  However, as all you know, nothing happens by chance – that’s the sign. Time came to step into the other world and that’s for good.  I wouldn’t bother you with begging for anything more. Plus, as we all know well the artworks of the unknown become above price  after the death of their authors. It means that my retreat will make few people the wealthy. Isn’t that fine?

Each day reminds the sunset, but trust remains

Each day has its own beauty. So there were days when my hair were longer than the remnants on currently bald pate. However, I haven’t the beard then. Now It is otherwise and my thoughts became deeper. The changes enrich us all, but many don’t hurry to gather that wealth because Life earnings is hard to accept. Their fit just for welcoming the stranger as the best buddy bud that’s hard to believe and so the passersby don’t know what to think.

There were the times when it was enough to smile for to feel myself the fulfilled, but my disability has changed my understanding of the happiness. I must earn it now. Thus i need the camera for to capture the depth of the eyes of the beggar on a street for to create the artwork that could help the viewer to obtain his lost eyesight, The idea challengers, bu the view at the showcase across the street frightens – with the cost of the digitals cameras. The cost of my dreams highly exceeds the potency of my purchasing power. While looking at the showcase I see my inability to return the youth and in the result the cemetery looks more and more precious solution… .

Throughout history, people who have been most famous for their wisdom, have been those who asked questions and sought for answers in all its angle.

The pills I take in the hospital try to convince me of being happy- the medicine frees me indeed from the  thoughts about having any dreams except the satisfaction with my belly, but I refuse to believe I am just a flash. I still hope in your generosity. I know your charity will help me to stand up again and to forget the hardships of my disability. I am eagerly looking forward to your support and thank you in advance for your charity. God blesses you.

The professional digital camera (Canon or alike model) will make me fly high on the wings of the gratitude again and thus your gift will revive my trust in the magical power of the good will. Thank you my dear benefactors. You are my only hope for to recover from my disability. Help me to enjoy the remnants of my days.

I need your support

The lonely memorial pillar stands by the road and the passersby see it from far. The pillar stands high and it is hard to read the names on it, but the main message sounds clear. Our ancestors loved their homeland more than own life, so their love became the light to us and memory guards our steps from worry for self until today.

When Soviet tanks were approaching Lithuania, President Smetona thanked my grandfather for his work and suggested to immigrate. Grandfather’s reply was: what will be with Lithuania will be with me. The Soviets killed the notable teacher, the founder of a school to the blind, the member of the Lithuanian Parliament – it was the real miracle that my grandmother succeeded to run away from the tortures of Siberia and to to return home with her three little children…

Family credo was to God country and the neighbor. The memory of the ancestors teaches me the love and guards from the complaints for my current situation, urges not to give up but but search for the outcome and not to loose the trust.

The cousin of my grandfather immigrated to USA. He wrote the encyclopedia Our Lithuania there… these four volumes are part of my large library now, and the book helps me not forget that we are much more than just ourselves. All my relatives perfectly comprehended that and were inseparable from their people.

Unfortunately, the love lost its meaning today. Lots are leaving Lithuania for better living, for earning more than they got here and so the historical sentiments look like the tales in today’s weary confusion. The glorious past helps us to see better the terrifying spiritual poverty under the modern design of our buildings… I too see myself like a dirty spot on my family album. Such words may surprise you. I am not guilty for my disability and my joblessness isn’t my choice, but my being can’t be justification of the idleness. Though I can a little, but I have started art therapy blog Modus Vivendi and wished to let in though a bit of light into the world of the people with psychiatric disorders… I had lots of ideas, but my camera ended its days – left me without the hands.

My dear, you are my only hope. Please gift me the Professional digital Canon for I could enjoy the light by sharing it with all on my road. Help me please. Your generosity is my only chance and I trust the miracle. God will bless you. I am eagerly looking forward to your email. We will discuss all details then. Please write to me at TK55kodel [eta] gmail [dot] com You are my last hope. I desperately need the camera and the flash for to continue my work.

Thank you.